A very fictional story regarding a very real problem.
Dear diary,
I just couldn’t take it any more. This may be the last time I am writing to you, but I don’t care. I tried ending my life just now by hanging myself, but the rope I bought was too cheap and it couldn’t support my weight. It broke while I was tying it to the ceiling fan. After I write this I will go with a cheaper way of commiting suicide. By jumping off the building. Its absolutely free.
I have always been a firm supporter of our country’s government. With the kind of clowning opposition dancing on the politcal table, it is safe to say that our current leaders are the best. I believe in everything they say and I am loyal to them.
When they banned Mass Effect to shield my eyes from the torment of witnessing unnature sex between an alien female and a human female, I felt loved and protected by the government. When they later removed the ban and gave it an M18 rating, I began to wish I can meet a female alien so that I can have sex with her. I’m above 18 years old of age.
I wanted to get hold of a copy of Mass Effect to play too, but it was too expansive. With the price of everything going up and my salary not increasing even a single cents, I really couldn’t affort the $59.90 it costs. So I followed my government’s advise to opt for a cheaper product. I got the game at $6 from a shop selling pirated cds instead. Later I was arrested and fined $20000 for procession of a pirated cd. That fine set me back by quite abit, almost driving me to bankrupcy. But I think it is worth it. I did bought a cheaper product. May the old man bless me with his powers.
Like other people I’ve always wanted an Mp3 player. I was eyeing the iPod Touch which cost $498 a while back. But I’ve been advised to buy a cheaper product, I bought a FM radio for $6 from a night market. It comes with a very long antenna too! I’m loving it!
I needed a good earphone for my darling radio, so I went shopping for one. They were all very expansive, all costin more than radio. Most outrageous was Creative Aurvana, sounding like junk, yet costing $169! How terrible! I should complain it to the government. I could only affort something cheap, so I bought a pair of earphones from a night market at $2. Old man, are you looking at me? I love you!
But sadly, my colleges seems to dislike the idea that I bought something so value for money. They laugh at me whenever they catch sight of my precious radio. How can they do that, when they baby their stupid mp3 players with all kinds of rubber covers and protectors, and constantly worry about it getting stolen? My darling radio don’t need any protectors or covers, and will never get stolen. So I sneer at them whenever I catch sight of their iPods and Walkmans too. Now I have no friends, but I don’t care, for I have not sinned.
My darling radio needs two AAA batteries for power. I was going to buy GP rechargable batteries, but they were so expansive! If I bought them I would have sinned in the eyes of my lovely government. I bought Powerbond batteries instead. 24 of those cuties only cost $1! What a baragin! Of course, I don’t mind the fact that they often leak chemicals which gave my hands red angry rashes. Buying more expansive is sinful. Especially those expansive batteries that don’t even have Mecury content in them. How unworthly.
My favourite food was Char Siew rice. They traditionally cost only $2 but recently they have been becoming more and more expansive. Most places sell them at $2.50 now. I wanted a cheaper product, yet experience the taste of Char Siew Rice. For $0.50 I got the Char Siew Rice without the Char Siew. The Char Siew gravy is free. With it on the rice I can imagine I am eating Char Siew Rice for just $0.50! Am I smart old man? Oh, hold me in thy strong arms!
Oh shit. I am running out of space. My $0.50 diary only has 50 small pages which last me for about 2 weeks. Oh god. No more space. This is the last page and I’ve almost filled it up/
Just the other day, I -
(END OF DIARY)
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